The Charming Game Of Online Dating

by ace

Going straight to the point where some people seem to disagree on one point: it works!

Is it genuine? Only those who experience the actual meeting, not just the text chat, can tell, until then, it’s only a flirting game whether you like it called this way or not.

Web sites that have a good reputation of accepting people capable of good connections usually cost you as much as a dinner with friends, so, it will not break your wallet if you try one of those instead of the new free service that just popped up in any advertisement around the web.

You are the sole responsible for screening out the weed. Stalkers, sick individuals, social wrecks, etc., will try their luck on the fresh meat available. This is valid both for males and females. Common sense is a must; however, most people join for the single reason of meeting people. The “real” date is often hard to get from people that might worth your time and investment.

Be genuine, use a real photo, fill up your profile with your real expectations, likes, and dislikes. No one wants to meet you just to find out a different person behind the pattern, and your reputation will suffer badly.

Remember, many people are lost in a society that left them behind for some reason, they lost their companion, it might have had to travel away, ruined his/her plans for life, might even have died, or is someone with problems in dealing with people, but finds it more comfortable behind the keyboard at home.


Religion, race, gender, location, and age should be made explicit on the first contact, it’s best to have someone leave you behind after a few words, or leave someone behind, then discover later on that it’s not what you were looking for, be nice, but be conscious of what you want, you should only invest time in the ones who have a chance to come into your life, or you into theirs.

Research those online profiles on your chosen websites before you build yours. You will get lots of ideas and spot mistakes you don’t want to make on your own.

Easygoing connections should be used; many are just for the meet and greet and will show you that they only want to share a few words to meet you; most won’t talk to you again probably, but increased your profile views, and that works both ways. Don’t ignore a person screening you, unless it gets too much. Step out, being friendly, and work on your searches also.

Too many pictures are a mistake, reason why sites like Facebook only show profile photos as default for public view, any others for friends only. Do the same in your dating website profile, place 2-3 photos public, and, if you can make 3-4 more for friends or connections, only the better.

That will raise curiosity about the one behind the profile.

Don’t be dependable, or at least don’t show dependability on the online dating lifestyle. Experienced users will ignore you on too much chat demands, and taking your time to send that question or answer shows you have more things to do in your life than staring at a computer or mobile phone/tablet waiting for someone to chat with you.

Nothing should be taken sure and for real on online dating. Without eye contact, only the teasing of the chat window will serve as behavior and personality analytics.

An engaging and effective vibe will make you talk for hours without the notion of time. Throw some teasing into the mix, experiment how far you both can go until you reach the comfortable point of both; after that, only your imagination and real desires will matter. Don’t be afraid to go far, better to risk, and show what you feel and think than being anxious to let it out and never got to do it promptly.

Find and invest time on you, make yourself the best you can be, your look, your clothing, you’re all-around style. And when a compliment comes up, be sure to reply the same way, give a positive vibe to the time and energy your companion dedicated to look and admire you.

Pay attention to details, especially the ones he/she just flew by with a few words. Still, you actually would like to know more about their job, their house, their favorite colors, whatever, just show you are fascinated and intrigued by their choices and opinions.

Send a message/SMS/mail after a real meeting, even just after a fast coffee, that will show appreciation and that they continue on your thoughts after both have left each other company. Be careful not to show stalker behavior or too much needy dedication, a “thank you for the moment” is enough and appreciated.

Don’t speed up and don’t overthink, you don’t want to tell your grandchildren that your first meeting was so formal that everyone was afraid even to smile. No one is perfect, and you will have your flaws showing up on that first meeting, as much as your prospect companion.

Break the severe and formal attitude being the first to acknowledge that they exist, and it’s easy to live with them, a “gosh, my hair is a mess, it won the battle this morning…” or something along those lines of thought will break the ice. You will probably get back something that he/she couldn’t get into the 100% perfection for that meeting.
Someone too dangerous or disconnected is a big no!

You are not doing a favor, so they shouldn’t act like they are doing one to you, get out and kindly reject future offers, move away from people that will bring you negative feelings about online dating. Good people exist, they are out there, sometimes we just need to dig further and move out of the way of those we will never find anything in common.

Keep talking time balanced, talk about you, and ask questions about them, move to work talks, home and location talks, movies, music, resuming… wander around several topics and don’t let both stops in one.

Sometimes we are too anxious about talking something that we just love beyond someone else’s comprehension… and that is a mood killer, sacrifice some things for others, is all goes well, you will have time for that pillow talk about whatever you fancy.
You are not in this world to please anyone, and you are here to get the most out of it and to like yourself first. Your interests might, or will be, different than most of your chosen dating mates, but if one of them respects them and doesn’t push too much their own, that is the way to follow.

Expect disappointments, mistakes, and very different perspectives. But always check for honesty, and you will have to ask the same of yourself. Someone who knows their flaws but lives beautiful with it, like, that’s not that important… will be happier than someone who seems particularly perfect from all sides, until you get caught in their deep greedy web for the rest of your untruth life.

Persistence is essential, but moderation on the pace your chosen relationship advances is the respectful argument both will have to deal in the beginning.

Manage the new person in your life along with the people that were already there, don’t blame yourself if you want to live exclusively in a new relationship, just to find out you are losing friends and family only because someone new claimed to love you. If they love you, they never, ever, say or give you the excuse to move away from your friends or family.

Evaluate the arguments of your mind, and the feelings in your heart, the evidence for the right choice will be at your doorstep before you expect it to.


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