Power relationship struggles are all too common.
Even in the best relationships there is a balance of power.
The more even the balance of power is, the better the relationship. If one person has virtually all the power that creates a very unhealthy dynamic and it should be changed or the relationship should be ended.
As uncomfortable as it may be to admit, the balance of power in any relationship usually revolves around who has the money.
If one person contributes more financially to the relationship in most cases they will be the one with the most power.
The other person is often very reluctant to argue or disagree with the ‘powerful’ person.
Since a truly healthy and good relationship needs to be more of an even partnership, this mis-match in power is rarely conducive to a good, healthy, stable relationship.
Only in rare (and I mean extremely rare, given human nature) cases where the person who has the money doesn’t need to ‘use’ their power, can this type of dynamic work well for both parties.
Most of the time it’s simply not good for one person in the relationship to feel like they ‘owe’ the other person something.
It’s far too easy to become a door mat in that type of scenario.
It will take a great deal of maturity for both parties to avoid falling into this trap.
You both have to be on the same page in regards to the way you view the relationship. It’s usually best if you talk to each other and discuss issues before going out and making a big purchase or a big decision.
For instance, if one of you gets offered a new job in another town, you owe it to your partner to talk to them about it.
See what they think. This is even more important if your partner has a job that they like or a thriving career.
You shouldn’t just assume that they can or will give up their career so that you can pursue yours. That is selfish.
Most of us instinctively know these things and know that every relationship does have some balance of power.
What many of us don’t do is to think about it in terms of our own relationships.
In order to create a balance of power that works for both of you, you both have to actively mold your relationship.
Right from the start, create the type of relationship where both of your opinions matter, where the two of you discuss things in a mature manner and come to an agreement, or at least a compromise.
It’s always best to do that from the beginning since it’s much harder to change a dynamic once it’s been set up.
Couples who don’t have a good handle of the power relationship struggles in their relationship are headed for trouble.
The closer to a 50/50 split in the dynamic of a relationship you can get the smoother and more comfortable the relationship is in most cases.
Also published on Medium.