Things are pretty tough after a break up. You miss your ex and would like to have another chance. Perhaps you have already asked yourself whether or not you should get back with an ex girlfriend.
That’s a fair question, and one that is very common. If you feel you need her in your life for it to be complete then you will be definitely facing a challenge. However, it’s not an impossible challenge.
While it can be done, you should know that it’s going to take some soul searching and thought.
After all, if you are going to expend your time or energy trying to get her back, then you better be sure it’s the right thing to do.
Before you can get back together, you need to take a look at the reasons why you broke up in the first place.
Do your best to be objective, and don’t be quick to blame her for everything. What things could you have done better, What were your weak points in the relationship, How much of the break up was your fault,
Okay, those questions are about you, but you need to ask a few questions about your ex girlfriend, too. What attracted you to her in the first place, What did she bring to the relationship, Are you trying to change her, Are you willing and able to forgive her for anything she may have done wrong,
Answering those questions is a good start, but it’s only the beginning.
You also need to make sure that your motivations are good.
Remember that your ex girlfriend has some say in what happens, too. If you only want to get back together for your own selfish needs and desires, then that’s not a very good reason.
And that means the odds of the relationship succeeding over the long term are minimal. It’s far better to rebuild the relationship because both parties want to move forward.
Assuming you have answered the important questions and that you have the right reasons for wanting to get back together with your ex girlfriend, it’s time to start working things out.
Be careful here! It’s very easy to overdo it at this stage. However, it’s best to take things slowly and proceed at a smooth and steady pace. If you push too hard, she will pull back, and that will only make things worse.
You will also have to communicate with one another as you are taking those small steps. Above all, be honest with each other.
That will be the only way to have any chance at rekindling your romance on a long term basis.
All good relationships are built on a foundation of trust, so as long as you are trying again, you may as well start off on the right foot.
It may seem that getting back with an ex girlfriend is next to impossible, but it isn’t. As long as you follow the advice above and treat her with respect, your odds of making up will be improved greatly.
Also published on Medium.