Home Uncategorized Do not adjust your set: Gwyneth Paltrow is spreading Goop all over TV


Do not adjust your set: Gwyneth Paltrow is spreading Goop all over TV

by ace

Great emotion in the growing disinfomercial genre of TV, as Netflix program by Gwyneth Paltrow is getting ready to land next week. Based on its lifestyle portal, currently valued at $ 250 million, The Goop Lab will see the turbocapitalist entrepreneur fanny-egg take us to new frontiers in the universe of well-being.

In fact, I just want to say right away that I still have no idea what "well-being" means, but I make sure to always use it with an appearance of knowledge, as I do with "neoliberalism" or "cervix". In fact, I am beginning to think that there may be some semantic overlap between the three concepts mentioned above. And after reading every book in the world on every other subject, I think I'll force myself to find out.

For now, let the show drop on us like an outdoor shower in a luxury eco-lodge for $ 1,700 a night in East Africa (massage huts are incredible, but the city gets dangerous after dark ). And so, for a breakdown of what we know.

The title

Of course, Gwyneth & Co went to The Goop Lab, suggestive of being a highly scientific facility, and it's definitely not one of those Potemkin labs that Russians use during the Olympics, where it's basically just a built-in lab-effect setting around a hole in the wall through which they pass through the clean piss.

It seems pretty clear that the only thing you do with clean piss here is drink it. The Goop Lab is one of those labs with pink sofas and bunches of cultivated wildflowers, where people can pipet phrases like "wearable stickers that rebalance the energy frequency in our bodies" and "surprisingly affordable yacht rentals" in their consciousness . Everything that happens in the trailer (cf The Trailer) looks like the camera was turned on two seconds after Gwynnie announced, "You can say anything inside these walls and there will be no trial." If these words were indeed said, they absolutely should not be taken as a challenge. You simply could not call it transparent explorer trash at The Goop Lab, which you must assume somewhere between Iran and Somalia in front of the blasphemy laws. Consider the time when the trailer, where the words "psychic mediums" appear on the screen and we pass it on to Gwyneth saying to four people that contractually cannot call her a silly cow: "She knew something my husband didn't even know". Of course I did.

Meanwhile, as you would expect from a company that had already agreements reached With the California Food, Drug, and Medical Devices Task Force, the mere existence of the program found exasperation by some doctors and scientists who have criticized its production in the past. "I am frustrated that Gwyneth Paltrow and Goop and their pseudoscientific empire are being given a platform," Timothy Caulfield, professor of health law and science policy at the University of Alberta, declared this week.

The advertising campaign

Given that Goop previously pressed $ 956 loo roll, Gwyneth always bet on extremely strong troll energy. Of the various scientific storms that the site caused, it simply observed last year: "I can monetize these eyeballs". You may already be aware of a recently sold out Goop product, a £ 58 scented candle branded “THIS CANDLE LIKE MY VAGINA”. In that case, it will be inevitable that Netflix's promotional image for The Goop Lab deliberately places a smiling Gwyneth in a kind of endless pink tunnel. As poster designer, Reagan Marshall, since then clarified: "I was trying to think of subtle ways to wave to female genitals." Mmmm. Presumably, he couldn't, because he went with it. "We tried everything from incredibly graphs – what you'd see in a physiology book – to a curtain opening," Reagan continues. "The funny thing is, they couldn't have picked someone more familiar with all of this. The last time I saw a vagina was when I came out of one – with my eyes closed."

The trailer

A case of sudden cut, this causes many of the experiments "to be done in the field," which appears to be Goop for "in the complete charlatan astral treatment suites." It also means that Paltrow demands that an army of guinea pigs – Gwynnie pigs, if you will – undergo the various "therapies" they will exhibit. So we captured several dedicated pedestrians in tears, saying things to the camera like, "I spent five years of therapy in five hours" and "I started to feel a panic attack." To discredit, the teaser relies directly on Goop's reputation for marginal madness, with clips of people excitedly saying things like, "This is dangerous" and "It's unregulated" and "Should I be afraid?" Very well, guys.

The dramatis personae

The star of the show is obviously Gwyneth, who is seen explaining her establishment of Goop as a "calling". As far as the chain of command is concerned, Gwyneth is almost permanently flanked in this trailer by someone who appears to be an ax-faced welfare consigliere, but is apparently the content director for Goop. I'm not sure how old this is Elise Loehnen Yeah, but she still talks to a teenage girl's questioning inflection, telling her boss, "I … had an exorcism?" Instead of saying, "Well, did you or did you not?" Gwyneth simply replies, “Wow.” Which is a neat summary of the site's investigative philosophy.

After all, this is a company that always seeks to get to the bottom of issues that have already been addressed, by discovering things like penicillin and so on. These discoveries were made by individuals much larger than anyone who works for Gwyneth, and they will undoubtedly not be augmented by any property contained in a $ 90 lip balm. In fact, instead of standing on the giants' shoulders, Gopos defecate them. Or, as Loehnen put it recently: "Gwyneth has played this role for a lifetime, in the sense that she was the first and was ridiculed, but then people realize that you like something, there is a pattern recognition. She is not necessarily discovering new things, but it's bringing old things into the mainstream. ”And it's a big yes for me to medicine from ancient times when it was mainstream to have a life expectancy of 30 years.

The philosophy

If I had to summarize the spirit of Goop, I would say, "Invention is better than cure." Although I accept that they probably have other ideas.

But out of the real fucking disease-related stuff – on the site, the "whole body vibration" is encouraging recommended as a treatment for multiple sclerosis Much of what Goop does is a kind of proxy retail Munchausen. As you know, this is the syndrome in which people are led to think that they have imaginary illnesses by a supposed caregiver. In Munchausen's clinical form by proxy, there is no obvious benefit to the caregiver figure. But in this much better monetized retail version, the "sufferer" can be cured by products sold on Gwyneth's website. In fact, given the number of products launched by Goop that were specifically criticized by medical professionals for actually causing real illness, it can be argued that the model was brilliantly developed to sell you something that could cause you a problem, which can then It itself can be fixed by another piece of shit you need to buy. Which, guess what, will bring its own problems, which require another product, and so on. As mentioned here before, Gwyneth falls into a category that my husband describes as "hippies who are actually conservatives" – a category that I am increasingly afraid to implement in relation to Goop, just because it seems so unfair to many party supporters conservative.

Still, let's play with Gwyneth: "We are here once, a lifetime. How can we really milk all of this?" If the answer is milking your clients' shit, then you certainly have the secret of life unraveled.

. (tagsToTranslate) Celebrity (t) Gwyneth Paltrow (t) Health and wellness (t) Life and style (t) Retail industry (t) Netflix (t) Television (t) Television and radio (t) Business


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